My grandma died this morning.
She was my mom's mom.
My mom died almost 19 years ago.
My grandmother was the last female link to my mom in the family. So today, I'm taking this especially hard.
I feel pressure to keep the legacy of strong women alive in my family. My mom, my powerful mom, set such an example. An example to live up to. My grandmother, God bless her, was content being her own person. She was quirky in the kindest sense.
It doesn't feel right being 36 and the oldest "generation" on one side of the family. Isn't that too young? When my daughter learns of my side of the family, I'm the female lead.
It has been 16 years since I last saw my grandmother, and I know that's horrible. How does that time pass? How does life get that busy that you can't find or make the time to visit your grandparents? I last saw them when I was 20 years old. After that, I continued with college, my career and married into the military -- and the distance to visit was too much.
The phone calls remained constant. The letters and the e-mails were frequent. The three of us -- me, my grandfather and grandmother -- never were far from each other.
Time or distance does not take the grandmother out of your soul or heart.
I feel a loss inside of me today, an emptiness you feel when someone you love dies. An emptiness when a part of you leaves.
The only reassurance I have is that my grandmother's spirit soared to the heavens today. And she's with my mom. And brother. And all those others who went before her.
What a blessed day for them.
7 comments:
Kym, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you really had some amazing women in your life to help shape the wonderful woman you have become. I can already tell that is being passed on in Jenna.
I'm so sorry about your grandmother's passing. Even though you had not seen her face to face in a long time, you did communicate with her as often as possible, so take comfort in that. As you said, she's with her loved ones now, including your beloved mother and brother. May God bless. Love, Faith
While it is true that you're now the oldest woman of your family's generation and the shoes sound daunting to fill, remember one thing:
You're a woman of grace, fierce independence, and strong intellect.
Although neither are here, I'm sure both your mother & grandmother are very proud of the woman that you've become.
Blessings & hugs,
:D
I am so sorry to hear your grandmother has passed. You are an extrodinary woman yourself...Jenna should be proud to come from such a line of strong women. My prayers are with you right now.
Know that you are being prayed for-- and as the many people who posted before me have said, you are already setting an example of a strong, independent, beautiful woman for Jenna. I know I am blessed to know you!
Kim
Kym - I am so sorry for your loss! Please know I am praying for you. BTW - I think Jenna has a wonderful female lead!
Love & Miss!
Lisa
i am so sorry to read about your grandmother! prayers to you and your family.
Post a Comment