Had a hard day on Thursday.
While walking Jenna up to her school, a friend of hers was dropped off in front of the school and started walking past us. Jenna called out to her, and pushed me away so she could walk off with her friend and proudly show the homecoming ribbon she just bought.
Her friend just kept walking away. Must have been a 4-year-old moment, because generally Jenna and this child are buddies.
I watched as the friend opened the first door to the school and Jenna walked in right behind her. After her friend opened the second door and squeezed through, Jenna was a bit caught and the door hit on her shoulder and the side of her body.
Her friend walked off, unaware of what just happened.
And Jenna just stood there inside the school. Looking at me.
I walked into the school and asked Jenna if she was okay. And she started crying. It was the kind of cry that makes a mom cry. It was the cry of not understanding what just happened. I took her to a corner of the school so she could cry in private and I carried her to her teacher's room.
Once there, she cried a little more. Her teacher was very concerned and offered to have Jenna help her in the office to take her mind off things. Jenna clung to me and cried, "I don't want to be at school today." I started crying. I could have just killed that little friend. I know Jenna's heart was hurt at that moment.
Some might say "she's young ... she'll move on ... kids are resilient," but nobody was there but me. The emotions were real. The hurt was real. And it absolutely pained me to have to leave. Jenna's teacher had to pull Jenna out of my arms while she cried, "I want my mommy!!"
I watched as her teacher carried her down the hall, tears streaming down Jenna's face. Her eyes locked with mine.
I tried to keep my composure on the way to my car, but once there, the tears broke through for my child. My tears fell all the way to work, and even at work for a while. My heart was broken for my child.
I called her school and left a message for Jenna's teacher to call me. She did, and said Jenna was her sweet bubbly self within no time.
But there was an urgency to get home and spend time with my child. I needed that connection with her more than she will ever understand. I needed her to feel my love and compassion and my I-am-so-sorry arms around her.
As a parent, some of you have been there. You know that when your child feels pain, so do you. When they hurt, you do, too. When they cry, you cry for them.
This is hard. Parenting is hard.
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Jenna: When you come and pick me up from after-school care, and the girls go, "Jenna, your mom is here!! ... I wish they wouldn't do that." Me: Why? Jenna: Because I don't care.
Jan. 7, 2010
I talked to Jenna about stringing popcorn for the tree -- something I hoped she'd be interested in. When the weekend came, I asked, "Do you want to string popcorn this weekend?" And in her sweet, deadpan voice, she responded, "String them yourself."
Yeah, maybe next year.
Dec. 13, 2009
On Saturday, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and relax. Car accident, strep, and my body was shot. So I'm in the bath, and 2 minutes later, Jenna comes in, sits on the edge of the tub, picks up a loofah and asks, "Do you want me to wash your back?" How do you say no to that? I sat there and said, "Jenna, thanks for taking such good care of me this week. "And she said, "Well ... it's what I do."
-- April 4, 2009
We walked out of a smoke-filled bowling alley (was there for a child's birthday party), when, in the parking lot, Jenna says, "It smelled like smoking crack in there!"
-- March 14, 2009, age 5
Pulling into a WalMart in an undesirable area in Montgomery, I offered strict instructions to Jenna to not leave my side and to hold my hand at all times. When we pulled into our parking space, I had already gotten out of the car when Jenna was still sitting in her car seat, belt buckled -- and it looked like she could care less. I raised my voice and asked her to get out of the car, and as we were walking to the front doors of the supercenter, she said, "Mommy, you're beautiful even when you get angry."
Nov. 2, 2008
Picking Jenna up from after-school care, I noticed she hadn't changed into her gymnastics outfit yet. She is changed into it every Monday so we can head straight to the YMCA after school. When I asked her why she hadn't changed yet, she answered:
"Because I'm not wearing panties."
"You're not?"
"Nope. I'm not."
And she was wearing a skirt.
Oct. 20, 2008
"Mom, I wish you were my age."
"Oh, thank you ... why do you say that?"
"Because then you can go to gymnastics class with me."
somedays, I could eat her up!
Sept. 22, 2008
"Mom, I made you something, but you can't have it until Mother's Day."
I said, "Great, Jenna, I can't wait for it."
She said, "When is Mother's Day?"
Sept. 10, 2008
"Mom, you're the (inaudible -- I thought she said 'neatest') mom!"
I said, "Oh, thanks, Jenna!"
"I said you're the weirdest mom, not something else!"
Jenna wrote on a school paper, "I can pail."
I asked her, "Why did you write that?"
She said, "It says, I can play."
I told her what it actually said, and she responded, "OH, I didn't know I could spell pail!"
"I can't wait to go to school today!" said Jenna, 1 minute after she woke up on the third morning of kindergarten.
About Us
- Raising Jenna
- United States
- Jenna: A 6-year-old full of wonder, love, spunk, smiles, knowledge, humor, sensitivity, laughter, tears, compassion.
Quotable
At the hospital with a temp that went DOWN to 102 degrees, Jenna was a little delirious. Doctor asked her, "Can you put a thermometer under you tongue?" And J looked at me. I said yes. She started taking off her sock, looking very puzzled. She thought the doctor said "toe."
Feb. 5, 2010
Jan. 7, 2010
I talked to Jenna about stringing popcorn for the tree -- something I hoped she'd be interested in. When the weekend came, I asked, "Do you want to string popcorn this weekend?" And in her sweet, deadpan voice, she responded, "String them yourself."
Yeah, maybe next year.
Dec. 13, 2009
On Saturday, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and relax. Car accident, strep, and my body was shot. So I'm in the bath, and 2 minutes later, Jenna comes in, sits on the edge of the tub, picks up a loofah and asks, "Do you want me to wash your back?" How do you say no to that? I sat there and said, "Jenna, thanks for taking such good care of me this week. "And she said, "Well ... it's what I do."
-- April 4, 2009
We walked out of a smoke-filled bowling alley (was there for a child's birthday party), when, in the parking lot, Jenna says, "It smelled like smoking crack in there!"
-- March 14, 2009, age 5
Pulling into a WalMart in an undesirable area in Montgomery, I offered strict instructions to Jenna to not leave my side and to hold my hand at all times. When we pulled into our parking space, I had already gotten out of the car when Jenna was still sitting in her car seat, belt buckled -- and it looked like she could care less. I raised my voice and asked her to get out of the car, and as we were walking to the front doors of the supercenter, she said, "Mommy, you're beautiful even when you get angry."
Nov. 2, 2008
Picking Jenna up from after-school care, I noticed she hadn't changed into her gymnastics outfit yet. She is changed into it every Monday so we can head straight to the YMCA after school. When I asked her why she hadn't changed yet, she answered:
"Because I'm not wearing panties."
"You're not?"
"Nope. I'm not."
And she was wearing a skirt.
Oct. 20, 2008
"Mom, I wish you were my age."
"Oh, thank you ... why do you say that?"
"Because then you can go to gymnastics class with me."
somedays, I could eat her up!
Sept. 22, 2008
"Mom, I made you something, but you can't have it until Mother's Day."
I said, "Great, Jenna, I can't wait for it."
She said, "When is Mother's Day?"
Sept. 10, 2008
"Mom, you're the (inaudible -- I thought she said 'neatest') mom!"
I said, "Oh, thanks, Jenna!"
"I said you're the weirdest mom, not something else!"
Jenna wrote on a school paper, "I can pail."
I asked her, "Why did you write that?"
She said, "It says, I can play."
I told her what it actually said, and she responded, "OH, I didn't know I could spell pail!"
"I can't wait to go to school today!" said Jenna, 1 minute after she woke up on the third morning of kindergarten.
Jenna's music! Rock on!
3 comments:
I teared up reading that. I can not imagime seeing my sweet MagB hurt. I do not look forward to it at all!
OMGoodness! Why do you do this to me? *sniffling* My heart was breaking right there for both of you.
Thankfully, I have not been there with Ava or Leila, yet. However, Madison is another story. My heart breaks for her everytime she cries to me over issues with her family at her mother's.
Jenna is so fortunate to have such a compassionate mother, Kym. (((HUGS))) to you.
I was right there with you and felt my eyes filling with tears. We've been through a couple not-quite-so similar scenarios with Ladybug but each time broke my heart nonetheless.
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