Talking about Heaven in our house is not uncommon. With Jenna talking about her grandparents so much, she learned early on that my mom lives in Heaven with Jesus. The other grandparents, she says, live in Texas.
Today, while driving to San Antonio, Jenna asked (again) where my mom lived. This is a private conversation I wanted to share:
"Where does your mom live?"
"In Heaven, baby."
"Why did she die?"
"She got really sick, sweetheart, and there was no medicine to help her."
"Why did she get sick?"
"She had cancer. And it's a disease that sometimes takes over the body and medicine can't help."
"Doctors don't have medicine to help with cancer?"
"No, baby, but they're working on it."
"Why doesn't she just come back?"
Emotionally, I nearly lost it ... "Because when you die, your body doesn't come back."
"Why?"
"It just doesn't. But your spirit does."
"We killed a bird."
"I know, baby." (We accidentally killed one while driving in Mississippi).
"Did the bird have cancer?"
"No, sweetheart. We ran over the bird. It did not have cancer."
"How else do people die?"
"Cancer, car accidents, other illnesses, by bullets ..."
"Why doesn't grandma come back?"
"She just can't, sweetheart."
And that was it. It was about a 5-minute conversation loaded with thought, detail and truly insightful questions from a just-turned 4-year-old. I'll never forget it.
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Jenna: When you come and pick me up from after-school care, and the girls go, "Jenna, your mom is here!! ... I wish they wouldn't do that." Me: Why? Jenna: Because I don't care.
Jan. 7, 2010
I talked to Jenna about stringing popcorn for the tree -- something I hoped she'd be interested in. When the weekend came, I asked, "Do you want to string popcorn this weekend?" And in her sweet, deadpan voice, she responded, "String them yourself."
Yeah, maybe next year.
Dec. 13, 2009
On Saturday, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and relax. Car accident, strep, and my body was shot. So I'm in the bath, and 2 minutes later, Jenna comes in, sits on the edge of the tub, picks up a loofah and asks, "Do you want me to wash your back?" How do you say no to that? I sat there and said, "Jenna, thanks for taking such good care of me this week. "And she said, "Well ... it's what I do."
-- April 4, 2009
We walked out of a smoke-filled bowling alley (was there for a child's birthday party), when, in the parking lot, Jenna says, "It smelled like smoking crack in there!"
-- March 14, 2009, age 5
Pulling into a WalMart in an undesirable area in Montgomery, I offered strict instructions to Jenna to not leave my side and to hold my hand at all times. When we pulled into our parking space, I had already gotten out of the car when Jenna was still sitting in her car seat, belt buckled -- and it looked like she could care less. I raised my voice and asked her to get out of the car, and as we were walking to the front doors of the supercenter, she said, "Mommy, you're beautiful even when you get angry."
Nov. 2, 2008
Picking Jenna up from after-school care, I noticed she hadn't changed into her gymnastics outfit yet. She is changed into it every Monday so we can head straight to the YMCA after school. When I asked her why she hadn't changed yet, she answered:
"Because I'm not wearing panties."
"You're not?"
"Nope. I'm not."
And she was wearing a skirt.
Oct. 20, 2008
"Mom, I wish you were my age."
"Oh, thank you ... why do you say that?"
"Because then you can go to gymnastics class with me."
somedays, I could eat her up!
Sept. 22, 2008
"Mom, I made you something, but you can't have it until Mother's Day."
I said, "Great, Jenna, I can't wait for it."
She said, "When is Mother's Day?"
Sept. 10, 2008
"Mom, you're the (inaudible -- I thought she said 'neatest') mom!"
I said, "Oh, thanks, Jenna!"
"I said you're the weirdest mom, not something else!"
Jenna wrote on a school paper, "I can pail."
I asked her, "Why did you write that?"
She said, "It says, I can play."
I told her what it actually said, and she responded, "OH, I didn't know I could spell pail!"
"I can't wait to go to school today!" said Jenna, 1 minute after she woke up on the third morning of kindergarten.
About Us
- Raising Jenna
- United States
- Jenna: A 6-year-old full of wonder, love, spunk, smiles, knowledge, humor, sensitivity, laughter, tears, compassion.
Quotable
At the hospital with a temp that went DOWN to 102 degrees, Jenna was a little delirious. Doctor asked her, "Can you put a thermometer under you tongue?" And J looked at me. I said yes. She started taking off her sock, looking very puzzled. She thought the doctor said "toe."
Feb. 5, 2010
Jan. 7, 2010
I talked to Jenna about stringing popcorn for the tree -- something I hoped she'd be interested in. When the weekend came, I asked, "Do you want to string popcorn this weekend?" And in her sweet, deadpan voice, she responded, "String them yourself."
Yeah, maybe next year.
Dec. 13, 2009
On Saturday, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and relax. Car accident, strep, and my body was shot. So I'm in the bath, and 2 minutes later, Jenna comes in, sits on the edge of the tub, picks up a loofah and asks, "Do you want me to wash your back?" How do you say no to that? I sat there and said, "Jenna, thanks for taking such good care of me this week. "And she said, "Well ... it's what I do."
-- April 4, 2009
We walked out of a smoke-filled bowling alley (was there for a child's birthday party), when, in the parking lot, Jenna says, "It smelled like smoking crack in there!"
-- March 14, 2009, age 5
Pulling into a WalMart in an undesirable area in Montgomery, I offered strict instructions to Jenna to not leave my side and to hold my hand at all times. When we pulled into our parking space, I had already gotten out of the car when Jenna was still sitting in her car seat, belt buckled -- and it looked like she could care less. I raised my voice and asked her to get out of the car, and as we were walking to the front doors of the supercenter, she said, "Mommy, you're beautiful even when you get angry."
Nov. 2, 2008
Picking Jenna up from after-school care, I noticed she hadn't changed into her gymnastics outfit yet. She is changed into it every Monday so we can head straight to the YMCA after school. When I asked her why she hadn't changed yet, she answered:
"Because I'm not wearing panties."
"You're not?"
"Nope. I'm not."
And she was wearing a skirt.
Oct. 20, 2008
"Mom, I wish you were my age."
"Oh, thank you ... why do you say that?"
"Because then you can go to gymnastics class with me."
somedays, I could eat her up!
Sept. 22, 2008
"Mom, I made you something, but you can't have it until Mother's Day."
I said, "Great, Jenna, I can't wait for it."
She said, "When is Mother's Day?"
Sept. 10, 2008
"Mom, you're the (inaudible -- I thought she said 'neatest') mom!"
I said, "Oh, thanks, Jenna!"
"I said you're the weirdest mom, not something else!"
Jenna wrote on a school paper, "I can pail."
I asked her, "Why did you write that?"
She said, "It says, I can play."
I told her what it actually said, and she responded, "OH, I didn't know I could spell pail!"
"I can't wait to go to school today!" said Jenna, 1 minute after she woke up on the third morning of kindergarten.
Jenna's music! Rock on!
2 comments:
Boy! haven't i had the same conversation with Nathaniel! It's so tough to explain such heavy topics with such young innocents as our children, i think you did a great job! Love you to bits & see you tomorrow!
Dezi
Sounds like some of the ones I've had with the kids about the miscarriage. Jenna is so thoughtful....
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